第65部分(第4/8 頁)

　sought　for：　vainly。　He　would　feel　himself　forsaken；　his　love　rejected：　he　would　suffer；　perhaps　grow　desperate。　I　thought　of　this　too。　My　hand　moved　towards　the　lock：　I　caught　it　back；　and　glided　on。

Drearily　I　wound　my　way　downstairs：　I　knew　what　I　had　to　do；　and　I　did　it　mechanically。　I　sought　the　key　of　the　side…door　in　the　kitchen；　I　sought；　too；　a　phial　of　oil　and　a　feather；　I　oiled　the　key　and　the　lock。　I　got　some　water；　I　got　some　bread：　for　perhaps　I　should　have　to　walk　far；　and　my　strength；　sorely　shaken　of　late；　must　not　break　down。　All　this　I　did　without　one　sound。　I　opened　the　door；　passed　out；　shut　it　softly。　Dim　dawn　glimmered　in　the　yard。　The　great　gates　were　closed　and　locked；　but　a　wicket　in　one　of　them　was　only　latched。　Through　that　I　departed：　it；　too；　I　shut；　and　now　I　was　out　of　Thornfield。

A　mile　off；　beyond　the　fields；　lay　a　road　which　stretched　in　the　contrary　direction　to　Millcote；　a　road　I　had　never　travelled；　but　often　noticed；　and　wondered　where　it　led：　thither　I　bent　my　steps。　No　reflection　was　to　be　allowed　now：　not　one　glance　was　to　be　cast　back；　not　even　one　forward。　Not　one　thought　was　to　be　given　either　to　the　past　or　the　future。　The　first　was　a　page　so　heavenly　sweet—　so　deadly　sad—that　to　read　one　line　of　it　would　dissolve　my　courage　and　break　down　my　energy。　The　last　was　an　awful　blank：　something　like　the　world　when　the　deluge　was　gone　by。

I　skirted　fields；　and　hedges；　and　lanes　till　after　sunrise。　I　believe　it　was　a