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第81部分(第4/8 頁)

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ng: I am sure I did not blush; perhaps I might have turned a little pale; for I felt as if this kiss were a seal affixed to my fetters。 He never omitted the ceremony afterwards; and the gravity and quiescence with which I underwent it; seemed to invest it for him with a certain charm。

As for me; I daily wished more to please him; but to do so; I felt daily more and more that I must disown half my nature; stifle half my faculties; wrest my tastes from their original bent; force myself to the adoption of pursuits for which I had no natural vocation。 He wanted to train me to an elevation I could never reach; it racked me hourly to aspire to the standard he uplifted。 The thing was as impossible as to mould my irregular features to his correct and classic pattern; to give to my changeable green eyes the sea…blue tint and solemn lustre of his own。

Not his ascendancy alone; however; held me in thrall at present。 Of late it had been easy enough for me to look sad: a cankering evil sat at my heart and drained my happiness at its source—the evil of suspense。

Perhaps you think I had forgotten Mr。 Rochester; reader; amidst these changes of place and fortune。 Not for a moment。 His idea was still with me; because it was not a vapour sunshine could disperse; nor a sand…traced effigy storms could wash away; it was a name graven on a tablet; fated to last as long as the marble it inscribed。 The craving to know what had bee of him followed me everywhere; when I was at Mort

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