第4部分(第3/8 頁)

ather　too　hard。”

Sarah　came　back　with　her；　they　both　went　to　bed；　they　were　whispering　together　for　half…an…hour　before　they　fell　asleep。　I　caught　scraps　of　their　conversation；　from　which　I　was　able　only　too　distinctly　to　infer　the　main　subject　discussed。

“Something　passed　her；　all　dressed　in　white；　and　vanished”—“A　great　black　dog　behind　him”—“Three　loud　raps　on　the　chamber　door”—“A　light　in　the　churchyard　just　over　his　grave；”　&c。　&c。

At　last　both　slept：　the　fire　and　the　candle　went　out。　For　me；　the　watches　of　that　long　night　passed　in　ghastly　wakefulness；　strained　by　dread：　such　dread　as　children　only　can　feel。

No　severe　or　prolonged　bodily　illness　followed　this　incident　of　the　red…room；　it　only　gave　my　nerves　a　shock　of　which　I　feel　the　reverberation　to　this　day。　Yes；　Mrs。　Reed；　to　you　I　owe　some　fearful　pangs　of　mental　suffering；　but　I　ought　to　forgive　you；　for　you　knew　not　what　you　did：　while　rending　my　heart…strings；　you　thought　you　were　only　uprooting　my　bad　propensities。

Next　day；　by　noon；　I　was　up　and　dressed；　and　sat　wrapped　in　a　shawl　by　the　nursery　hearth。　I　felt　physically　weak　and　broken　down：　but　my　worse　ailment　was　an　unutterable　wretchedness　of　mind：　a　wretchedness　which　kept　drawing　from　me　silent　tears；　no　sooner　had　I　wiped　one　salt　drop　from　my　cheek　than　another　followed。　Yet；　I　thought；　I　ought　to　have　been　happy；　for　none　of　the　Reeds　were　there；　they　were　all　gone　out　in　the　carriage　with　their　mama。　Abbot；　too；　wa