第49部分(第5/8 頁)

　veil；　and　is　at　this　day　superior　of　the　convent　where　she　passed　the　period　of　her　novitiate；　and　which　she　endowed　with　her　fortune。

How　people　feel　when　they　are　returning　home　from　an　absence；　long　or　short；　I　did　not　know：　I　had　never　experienced　the　sensation。　I　had　known　what　it　was　to　e　back　to　Gateshead　when　a　child　after　a　long　walk；　to　be　scolded　for　looking　cold　or　gloomy；　and　later；　what　it　was　to　e　back　from　church　to　Lowood；　to　long　for　a　plenteous　meal　and　a　good　fire；　and　to　be　unable　to　get　either。　Neither　of　these　returnings　was　very　pleasant　or　desirable：　no　mag　drew　me　to　a　given　point；　increasing　in　its　strength　of　attraction　the　nearer　I　came。　The　return　to　Thornfield　was　yet　to　be　tried。

My　journey　seemed　tedious—very　tedious：　fifty　miles　one　day；　a　night　spent　at　an　inn；　fifty　miles　the　next　day。　During　the　first　twelve　hours　I　thought　of　Mrs。　Reed　in　her　last　moments；　I　saw　her　disfigured　and　discoloured　face；　and　heard　her　strangely　altered　voice。　I　mused　on　the　funeral　day；　the　coffin；　the　hearse；　the　black　train　of　tenants　and　servants—few　was　the　number　of　relatives—the　gaping　vault；　the　silent　church；　the　solemn　service。　Then　I　thought　of　Eliza　and　Georgiana；　I　beheld　one　the　cynosure　of　a　ball…room；　the　other　the　inmate　of　a　convent　cell；　and　I　dwelt　on　and　analysed　their　separate　peculiarities　of　person　and　character。　The　evening　arrival　at　the　great　town　of—scattered　these　thoughts；　night　gave　them　quite　another　turn：　laid　down