第73部分(第3/8 頁)

the　germs　of　native　excellence；　refinement；　intelligence；　kind　feeling；　are　as　likely　to　exist　in　their　hearts　as　in　those　of　the　best…born。　My　duty　will　be　to　develop　these　germs：　surely　I　shall　find　some　happiness　in　discharging　that　office。　Much　enjoyment　I　do　not　expect　in　the　life　opening　before　me：　yet　it　will；　doubtless；　if　I　regulate　my　mind；　and　exert　my　powers　as　I　ought；　yield　me　enough　to　live　on　from　day　to　day。

Was　I　very　gleeful；　settled；　content；　during　the　hours　I　passed　in　yonder　bare；　humble　schoolroom　this　morning　and　afternoon？　Not　to　deceive　myself；　I　must　reply—No：　I　felt　desolate　to　a　degree。　I　felt—yes；　idiot　that　I　am—I　felt　degraded。　I　doubted　I　had　taken　a　step　which　sank　instead　of　raising　me　in　the　scale　of　social　existence。　I　was　weakly　dismayed　at　the　ignorance；　the　poverty；　the　coarseness　of　all　I　heard　and　saw　round　me。　But　let　me　not　hate　and　despise　myself　too　much　for　these　feelings；　I　know　them　to　be　wrong—that　is　a　great　step　gained；　I　shall　strive　to　overe　them。　To…　morrow；　I　trust；　I　shall　get　the　better　of　them　partially；　and　in　a　few　weeks；　perhaps；　they　will　be　quite　subdued。　In　a　few　months；　it　is　possible；　the　happiness　of　seeing　progress；　and　a　change　for　the　better　in　my　scholars　may　substitute　gratification　for　disgust。

Meantime；　let　me　ask　myself　one　question—Which　is　better？—To　have　surrendered　to　temptation；　listened　to　passion；　made　no　painful　effort—no　struggle；—but　to　have　sunk　down　in　the　silken　snare；　fall