第41部分(第4/8 頁)

ass　by：　but　I　shall　follow　the　guiding　of　that　still　small　voice　which　interprets　the　dictates　of　conscience。’

“Well　said；　forehead；　your　declaration　shall　be　respected。　I　have　formed　my　plans—right　plans　I　deem　them—and　in　them　I　have　attended　to　the　claims　of　conscience；　the　counsels　of　reason。　I　know　how　soon　youth　would　fade　and　bloom　perish；　if；　in　the　cup　of　bliss　offered；　but　one　dreg　of　shame；　or　one　flavour　of　remorse　were　detected；　and　I　do　not　want　sacrifice；　sorrow；　dissolution—such　is　not　my　taste。　I　wish　to　foster；　not　to　blight—to　earn　gratitude；　not　to　wring　tears　of　blood—no；　nor　of　brine：　my　harvest　must　be　in　smiles；　in　endearments；　in　sweet—　That　will　do。　I　think　I　rave　in　a　kind　of　exquisite　delirium。　I　should　wish　now　to　protract　this　moment　ad　infinitum；　but　I　dare　not。　So　far　I　have　governed　myself　thoroughly。　I　have　acted　as　I　inwardly　swore　I　would　act；　but　further　might　try　me　beyond　my　strength。　Rise；　Miss　Eyre：　leave　me；　the　play　is　played　out’。”

Where　was　I？　Did　I　wake　or　sleep？　Had　I　been　dreaming？　Did　I　dream　still？　The　old　woman’s　voice　had　changed：　her　accent；　her　gesture；　and　all　were　familiar　to　me　as　my　own　face　in　a　glass—as　the　speech　of　my　own　tongue。　I　got　up；　but　did　not　go。　I　looked；　I　stirred　the　fire；　and　I　looked　again：　but　she　drew　her　bon　and　her　bandage　closer　about　her　face；　and　again　beckoned　me　to　depart。　The　flame　illuminated　her　hand　stretched　out：　roused　now；　and　on　the　alert　for　discoveries；　I　at　once　notic