第42部分(第2/6 頁)

woman　would　be　tragic　no　matter　how　it　occurred。

〃It　wasn't　your　fault；〃　she　reasoned。

His　eyes　flashed。　〃I　was　driving！　If　only　I'd　driven　slower　or　faster；

or　taken　a　different　route。〃　He　hung　his　head。　When　he　raised　it　again；

his　anger　was　spent。　〃Remember　the　nightmare　you　had？　Mine　was　no　dream。

I　was　able　to　pull　Bey　out　of　the　car；　only　to　watch　her　die　in　my　arms。

There　was　nothing　I　could　do。　A　battered　arm　was　the　least　of　my

punishment。　The　plane　crash　seemed　an　extension　of　it。　Then〃…he　pressed

his　lips　together　and　nodded…〃then　I　found　you。〃

Anne　swallowed　hard。　He　wandered　across　the　room；　seeming　aimless；　as

though　it　didn't　matter　where　he　went。　She　had　never　seen　him　like　this；

had　never　heard　his　voice　so　bleak　or　so　sad。

〃I　had　fallen　in　love　with　you　long　before　I　made　the　connection　between

Jeff's　death　and　my　airline。　In　an　odd　way；　I　felt　you　were　my　only

chance　at　happiness；　at　building　a　new　life。　I　was　terrified　of　losing

you。　I　didn't　know　what　would　happen　when　I　told　you　what　I　knew。　I

wanted　to　think　you'd　understand；　but　the　stakes　were　so　high。〃

He　turned　to　face　her；　earnest　now。　〃I　never　lied　to　you　about　the

crash；　Anne。　I　just　didn't　tell　you　the　whole　truth。　It's　tormented　me

for　months。　But　the　longer　the　deception　went　on；　the　worse　my　sin　and

the　greater　the　risk　of　ing　clean。　I　was　afraid　that