第56部分(第1/8 頁)

！　She　did　not　exist：　she　would　not　be　born　till　to…morrow；　some　time　after　eight　o’clock　a。m。；　and　I　would　wait　to　be　assured　she　had　e　into　the　world　alive　before　I　assigned　to　her　all　that　property。　It　was　enough　that　in　yonder　closet；　opposite　my　dressing…table；　garments　said　to　be　hers　had　already　displaced　my　black　stuff　Lowood　frock　and　straw　bon：　for　not　to　me　appertained　that　suit　of　wedding　raiment；　the　pearl…coloured　robe；　the　vapoury　veil　pendent　from　the　usurped　portmanteau。　I　shut　the　closet　to　conceal　the　strange；　wraith…like　apparel　it　contained；　which；　at　this　evening　hour—nine　o’clock—　gave　out　certainly　a　most　ghostly　shimmer　through　the　shadow　of　my　apartment。　“I　will　leave　you　by　yourself；　white　dream；”　I　said。　“I　am　feverish：　I　hear　the　wind　blowing：　I　will　go　out　of　doors　and　feel　it。”

It　was　not　only　the　hurry　of　preparation　that　made　me　feverish；　not　only　the　anticipation　of　the　great　change—the　new　life　which　was　to　mence　to…morrow：　both　these　circumstances　had　their　share；　doubtless；　in　producing　that　restless；　excited　mood　which　hurried　me　forth　at　this　late　hour　into　the　darkening　grounds：　but　a　third　cause　influenced　my　mind　more　than　they。

I　had　at　heart　a　strange　and　anxious　thought。　Something　had　happened　which　I　could　not　prehend；　no　one　knew　of　or　had　seen　the　event　but　myself：　it　had　taken　place　the　preceding　night。　Mr。　Rochester　that　night　was　absent　from　home；　nor　was　he　yet　returned：　business　had　called　him　to　a　small　es