第16部分(第2/7 頁)

iness。　I　had　made　reservations　at　a　restaurant　30　miles　away。　I　lost　my　way　and　drove　aimlessly　on　rural　roads　for　an　hour　as　my　exasperation　mounted。　She　remained　good…humored　happy；　she　said；　to　tour　villages　whose　histories　she　had　read　about。

We　never　located　the　restaurant；　and　then　almost　ran　out　of　gas。　We　finally　ate　at　10　；　hamburgers　and　fries　at　a　dinner。　In　her　floral　dress；　with　her　straight　blond　hair　and　classic　features；　she　stood　out　among　the　local　kids。

Back　at　school；　I　was　ready　to　apologize　for　the　evening。　But　I　felt　her　warm　hand　take　mine；　and　then　she　quickly　kissed　my　cheek。　“Thank　you　for　a　wonderful　evening；”　she　said　softly。　Before　I　prehended　what　had　happened；　she　disappeared　into　the　dormitory。

How　many　times　have　there　been　moments　like　that；　moments　of　such　enpassing　grace　and　love　that　I　doubted　their　actuality？　Moments　like　the　day　of　our　marriage；　when　on　a　crisp　Sunday　morning　on　the　Pacific　coast　she　entered　the　church　on　her　father’s　arm　and　I　gazed　down　the　aisle　at　my　soon…to…be　wife。　Or　the　moments　when　our　two　children　were　born　and　her　face　became　radiant　as　she　emerged　from　the　unreachable　realm　of　labor　into　exaltation。

But　October　15；　1993；　was　different。　That　day；　we　arose　at　5　a。　m。；　having　a　hard　slept。　How　can　you　rest　when　a　blade　will　soon　sever　flesh　so　dear？　She　kissed　both　of　our　children　as　they　slept；　but　they　never　stirred　or　said　“Good　luck”　or　“I　love　you；　Mommy。”　In　the　hospital；　after