第14部分(第2/8 頁)

d　soon；　so　overwhelming　was　the　grief　that　seized　me；　I　sank　prostrate　with　my　face　to　the　ground。　Now　I　wept：　Helen　Burns　was　not　here；　nothing　sustained　me；　left　to　myself　I　abandoned　myself；　and　my　tears　watered　the　boards。　I　had　meant　to　be　so　good；　and　to　do　so　much　at　Lowood：　to　make　so　many　friends；　to　earn　respect　and　win　affection。　Already　I　had　made　visible　progress：　that　very　morning　I　had　reached　the　head　of　my　class；　Miss　Miller　had　praised　me　warmly；　Miss　Temple　had　smiled　approbation；　she　had　promised　to　teach　me　drawing；　and　to　let　me　learn　French；　if　I　continued　to　make　similar　improvement　two　months　longer：　and　then　I　was　well　received　by　my　fellow…pupils；　treated　as　an　equal　by　those　of　my　own　age；　and　not　molested　by　any；　now；　here　I　lay　again　crushed　and　trodden　on；　and　could　I　ever　rise　more？

“Never；”　I　thought；　and　ardently　I　wished　to　die。　While　sobbing　out　this　wish　in　broken　accents；　some　one　approached：　I　started　up—　again　Helen　Burns　was　near　me；　the　fading　fires　just　showed　her　ing　up　the　long；　vacant　room；　she　brought　my　coffee　and　bread。

“e；　eat　something；”　she　said；　but　I　put　both　away　from　me；　feeling　as　if　a　drop　or　a　crumb　would　have　choked　me　in　my　present　condition。　Helen　regarded　me；　probably　with　surprise：　I　could　not　now　abate　my　agitation；　though　I　tried　hard；　I　continued　to　weep　aloud。　She　sat　down　on　the　ground　near　me；　embraced　her　knees　with　her　arms；　and　rested　her　head　upon　them；　in　that　attitude　she　remained　silent