第17部分(第3/8 頁)

h　between　upset　and　uneasy。　The　worst　part

being；　I　couldn't　really　put　my　finger　on　what　exactly　I

was　upset　or　uneasy　about。　Of　course　it　was　Bryce；　but　why　wasn't　I　just　mad？　He'd　been

such　a　…　scoundrel。　Or　happy？　Why　wasn't　I　just　happy？

He'd　e　over　to　our　house。　He'd　stood　on　our　driveway。　He'd　said　nice　things。　We'd

laughed。

But　I　wasn't　mad　or　happy。　And　as　I　lay　in　bed　trying　to　read；　I　realized　that　upset　had　been

overshadowed　by　uneasy。　I　felt　as　though　someone

was　watching　me。　I　got　so　spooked　I　even　got　up　and　checked　out　the　window　and　in　the

closet　and　under　the　bed；　but　still　the　feeling　didn't　go

away。

It　took　me　until　nearly　midnight　to　understand　what　it　was。

It　was　me。　Watching　me。

Looming　Large　and　Smelly

Sunday　I　woke　up　feeling　like　I'd　been　sick　with　the　flu。　Like　I'd　had　one　of　those　bad；

convoluted；　unexplainable　fever　dreams。

And　what　I've　figured　out　about　bad；　convoluted；　unexplainable　dreams　of　any　kind　is　that

you've　just　got　to　shake　them　off。　Try　to　forget　that　they

ever　happened。

I　shook　it　off；　all　right；　and　got　out　of　bed　early　'cause　I　had　eaten　almost　nothing　the　night

before　and　I　was　starving！　But　as　I　was　trucking　into　the

kitchen；　I　glanced　into　the　family　room　and　noticed　that　my　dad　was　sacked　out　on　the　couch。

This　was　not　good。　This　was　a　sign　of　battles　still　in　progress；　and　i