第20部分(第4/8 頁)

。　He　gets　an　incredible

amount　of　individualized　attention。　He　has　his　own　room；　his　own　friends；　his　own　life。”

After　a　minute　I　said；　“But　he's　part　of　the　family；　Dad。　And　it　just　doesn't　seem　right　that　he's

never　been　over　for　a　visit。　Not　even　on　Christmas　or

Thanksgiving！”

“He　doesn't　want　to；　sweetheart。　One　year　your　mother　and　I　insisted　he　spend　Thanksgiving

with　us；　and　it　was　the　biggest　disaster　you　can

imagine。　He　broke　a　window　out　of　the　car；　he　was　that　upset。”

“But　…　why　haven't　we　been　visiting　him？　I　know　you　have；　but　the　rest　of　us。　Why　not？”

“Well；　it's　draining。　Your　mother　finds　it　incredibly　depressing；　and　I　understand　that。　We　both

agreed　that　it　was　no　place　to　take　small　children。”

He　accelerated　onto　the　highway；　silent　behind　the　wheel。　Finally　he　said；　“The　years　just

seem　to　slip　away；　Julianna。　One　day　you　have　a　baby　in

your　arms；　and　the　next　you　realize　she's　very　nearly　a　woman。”　He　smiled　at　me　sadly。　“I

love　David；　but　he　is　a　burden；　and　I　guess　I　wanted　to

protect　you　from　that。　But　I　realize　now　that　all　of　this　has　affected　you　and　the　family。”

“But　Dad；　it's　not—”

“Julianna；　what　I'm　trying　to　tell　you　is　I'm　sorry。　There　was　so　much　I　wanted　to　give　you。　All

of　you。　I　guess　I　didn't　see　until　recently　how　little　I've

actually　provided。”

“That's　not　true！”

“Well；　I　think　you　know　my　he