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no energy was found to express them—
“Be not far from me; for trouble is near: there is none to help。”
It was near: and as I had lifted no petition to Heaven to avert it—as I had neither joined my hands; nor bent my knees; nor moved my lips—it came: in full heavy swing the torrent poured over me。 The whole consciousness of my life lorn; my love lost; my hope quenched; my faith death…struck; swayed full and mighty above me in one sullen mass。 That bitter hour cannot be described: in truth; “the waters came into my soul; I sank in deep mire: I felt no standing; I came into deep waters; the floods overflowed me。”
Chapter 27
Some time in the afternoon I raised my head; and looking round and seeing the western sun gilding the sign of its decline on the wall; I asked; “What am I to do?”
But the answer my mind gave—“Leave Thornfield at once”—was so prompt; so dread; that I stopped my ears。 I said I could not bear such words now。 “That I am not Edward Rochester’s bride is the least part of my woe;” I alleged: “that I have wakened out of most glorious dreams; and found them all void and vain; is a horror I could bear and master; but that I must leave him decidedly; instantly; entirely; is intolerable。 I cannot do it。”
But; then; a voice within me averred that I could do it and foretold that I should do it。 I wrestled with my own resolution: I wanted to be weak that I might avoid the awful passage of further suffering I saw laid out for me; an
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